Soul Midwife and Funeral Celebrant
Katie Costello
'I was always worried that approaching someone like Katie early in our journey would mean we'd given up on the idea that Rich would live past the cancer. But actually what it does is make your time together more life-affirming'
- E.H
WHAT IS A SOUL MIDWIFE?
Soul Midwives are non-medical, holistic companions who guide and support the dying in order to facilitate a gentle and peaceful death.
Soul Midwives draw on ancient skills and traditions, apply and adapt them to modern day life, and death, and treat dying as a rite of passage and a precious and sacred journey.
TESTIMONIAL
"None of us want to face the prospect of dying however my wife, who passed away a couple of months ago, decided to take control and sought help to prepare for dying and plan for what happens afterwards.
We decided a few years ago that we didn’t want typical funerals and all of the sadness and grief that goes with that. So, we came up with a plan to have private funerals with no one present, private internment of ash’s and then a full celebration of life event. We decided on the location, the style, the food, the guests, the speakers and even the music all before she left us. She even asked specific people to help with organising the event including asking Katie to host the day. All I had to do was execute the plan. This helped me and other members of the family enormously as we knew we were putting all of our efforts into something that was truly a genuine reflection of my wife.
She connected with Katie 2 years prior to her dying who supported her through some of her darkest periods. And then towards the end she arranged for Katie to visit us in the hospital so we could agree on some of the finer details of her life story and how she wanted the celebration to run. Over a 6-week period Katie spoke to many of the family and friends and built a picture of my wife’s life which she used to orchestrate a very special afternoon of memory sharing.
Katie has an excellent way of helping people be calm and think though what they want and then deliver a very warm and comforting celebration. I can’t thank Katie enough for how she helped my wife approach dying and then how she supported us and enabled all the family and friends to share their memories in a loving and beautiful way"
Mr J - December 2022
HOW CAN A SOUL MIDWIFE HELP?
End of Life Companion
Our primary role. A soul midwife is with someone as much or as little as they need or want throughout their journey. We are there without judgement, are non denominational, and always come from the heart in everything we do. We treat everyone we work with as our own family. We see death as precious and sacred and believe people should have as much love and support as possible. It will happen to us all and we only have one chance to get it right, for that person and those left behind.
Assist with Advance Care Planning and funeral preparations
Thinking about the care or treatment that you want early on in your journey takes any worries away from yourself and your loved ones if and when it happens. Planning your funeral can be empowering and believe it or not, an uplifting experience for everyone involved. It can be emotional of course, but it is worth it. Being a Funeral Celebrant, I can take that journey with you and conduct your funeral for you when the time comes knowing you have someone that knows you and can speak from, not only experience, but the heart.
Facilitate Open conversations
Talking about Death and Dying is easy when we are well. Discussing your wishes and deepest feeling with those you love can be one of the hardest conversations you will ever have when you are facing the end of your life. But the result and consequences of doing so are so priceless.
Deep Listening and Advanced Communication Skills
Deep listening is something most of us take for granted. Soul Midwives can truly connect and really 'hear' what someone is saying, and it is not always about the words. Listening is probably the biggest part of our role for our 'friends' and their families. It is not always a case of saying 'the right thing' but simply 'being present'. We can 'Hold Space' and take the journey together.
Creating Memory Boxes
Memory boxes, scrap books, recipe collections and audio recordings are just a few of the wonderful ways you can leave your legacy. Doing them as a family, with children, or with those you love can be a type of healing, a support through the early grief that sets in. The memories created in doing these things alone will be precious. Soul Midwives can help everyone involved, even if only for ideas.
Help signpost and attend appointments
Part of our role maybe to attend appointments as an impartial, yet loving, support. We can just 'be present' so you feel less alone. We can also help research, investigate options, look for help and seek advice. There is a huge amount of support out there for those who maybe poorly, it's just a case of knowing where to look.
Use therapeutic techniques
Sound, Oils, Aromas, Crystals and Gentle Touch are all some of the things we have in our TOOLKITS and that we can offer those we work with. All of these old ancient therapies bring a sense of calm, can reduce heart rates, ease fear and holistically support someones journey through death. All senses can become heightened when we die and all of these ways have been proved to work for centuries by our ancestors.
Hold BedsideVigils
We can hold sacred space at the bedside of those who are dying. We can create a calm, loving and safe space for the souls journey ahead. Families may want to do to this themselves and we can support loved ones to do this to help fulfil a persons wishes. Some people want music, pictures, a favourite blanket or trinket near them, all of these personal touches can help create a loving vigil. This is an example of one of the benefits of having tough conversations early on.
TLC Training
TLC - Tender Loving Care - offers practical ways to help those at end of life. The TLC programme is a simplified, hands-on version of Soul Midwifery, which sits perfectly within mainstream care settings. There are insights into the stages of dying and what a person, and their soul may go through. These training days are offered as groups in the community, to families and individuals and as training days/modules to Homes, Hospices and Hospitals.
© 2023 by Katie Costello - Soul Midwife and Funeral Celebrant. All right reserved.